Ten days of quarantine to hurl your haggis sillyTo expose yourself freely like Groundskeeper WillieTo get an image of Jimmy Krankie clear in your headTo grab hold of your oats and lay down on your bedAdjust your sporran and pull up your kiltLet the tug o’war start and the tension be builtWhen tossing the caber…
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The groaning blindsThe airless roomThe internet connectionThat wouldn’t allow us to Zoom The ill firing hobsFirewood not includedSame goes for wardrobe doorsClothes not secluded Your ill timed visitWhilst we were in the throwsThe flush of your lavYour septic stench grows To stand in the bedroomWould be a delightWe either crawl to the leftOr roll to…
Read moreIt’s not always saidIt’s not always impliedBut remember thisIt is always on my mindI know this sounds like ElvisAnd has a taste of BrieBut when I close my eyesYou are all that I can see
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We woke, we spoke, I made coffee,We got on our bikes and rode.We stopped. Lay in the grass,In fields that had not been sowed. L cooked, I showered, then we ate.I cleaned, L showered and I sang.We drove, we shopped,I ignored a homeless man. Amazon delivers two parcels,I’m excited by one and not the other.We…
Read moreHe looks in the mirror; doesn’t like what he sees,”Who is this stranger that’s looking at me?”He remembers a time when his hair was thick,To disguise the bald patches he shaves with a Bic. His beard, when it grows, is as grey as his cat,The six pack has gone and he’s begun to look fat,His…
Read moreI’ve got Jim Beam runningThrough my headYes I’m aliveI’d be better off dead I’ve got suicidal tendenciesThey’re pulsing through my veinsI’m aliveBut I want to blow my brains I’ve got whiskey in my handI’ve got pills by my sideI’m still on boardBut I want to stop the ride That’s how I’m feelingIt’s not a pretty…
Read moreI know I am a jealous manBut can’t you understand?It’s just because I love you soAnd none of this is planned. I do think that alsoI am not on my own in blameSome of the fault must lieWith you and your old flame. Because in the early daysIt wasn’t only me and youIn what now…
Read moreI’m am pretty sure how tomorrow will goWe are meeting in public for one reasonI knowLittle or no chance of a raised voiceThe Amber RoomsNot my first choice I guess I wont be the first to be dumpedIn that shit holeI’ll be left slumpedOver my big breakfast and third wake up juiceIt will be game…
Read moreThis may sound cold but get over it,I can’t stand it anymore,It’s been two years since she left,And I’m still lifting you from the floor. It will get to a point where I crack up,And leave you to sort it out,Because my energy levels are running low,My sanity I’m beginning to doubt. I don’t understand…
Read moreYou’ve taken me by surpriseI never thought I’d see the dayWhere I had fallen, completelySo absolutely happyIn every single way I can’t find a good metaphor To explain how I’m feelingSo here’s a terrible oneI’m Lionel RichieI’m dancing on the ceiling You really are on my mindAlways, as Elvis once saidWhether I’m working, runningIn the…
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