The legs of Laura and Rich

Today is not our wedding anniversary
We’ve not said after a Priest
The words “I do” in front of witnesses
Before presenting them with a feast.

We’ve not exchanged vows or rings
That the best man joked he’d lost
You’ve not worn something blue
Or a dress, ridiculous in cost.

We’ve not kissed in front of others
As husband or as wife
You’ve not agreed to obey me
For rest of your natural life.

We’ve not been centre stage
Shuffling our first dance
We’ve not emailed a John Lewis list
For tea towels or for pans.

We haven’t listened to a DJ
Who played ABBA more than once
We haven’t introduced relatives
Released from the clink last month.

We’ve not had to cut a cake
With effigies of us on the top
No dealing with photographers
Whilst the children have a strop.

No bouquets have been thrown
Into a gaggle of screaming hens
No cigars forced upon me
By some of my closest friends.

But what we certainly have had
Is years with lots of love
The best years I’ve ever had
With no need for all above.